Things Never To Give Your Wife for Christmas:
1. A frying pan, blender, or vacuum.
2. A scale – either for weighing food or her body.
3. Perfume you say you liked when you smelled it on another woman.
Things Never To Give Your Hubby for Christmas:
1. Tickets for two to the opera.
3. Your favorite Barbara Streisand CD.
Things Your Teen Would Love for Christmas:
1. Receive a double allowance for one week!
2. Taking a late curfew, agreed upon by parents!
3. Drive the favorite family car on a date!